Free Glasses

The Free Sunglasses Letter

Thought I would share the free sunglasses letter responsible for a complimentary $500 pair of Maui Jim replacement glasses.

Be funny and tell a great story… And the sky is the limit!


To: Maui Jim Customer Support
Re: My recently deceased sunglasses

Dear Sir/Madam:

I bought my Maui Jim’s on an ordinary sunny day here in South Florida during the summer of 2008.

While the day may have been ordinary, I will remember it forever as the day I went from an average father of two…

To a stylish, charismatic, superman who was able to MOVE MOUNTAINS.

For more than five years now I’ve dealt with the heavy burdens of fatherhood with unflappable grace.

Calm, cool, and collected, my eyes never burned in the glare of the Florida sun…

I was able to negotiate with my kids with the cool, unreadable gaze of a seasoned poker professional.

I drove us across the country (twice) with well-rested eyes and complete confidence…

And each minivan we drove past, from Sarasota to Seattle, contained a mom who fixed me with an appraising look that said “that guy has his shit together.”

And you know what? I did.


But we all age. We all get older and over time, and injuries occur. One scratch became three. A chipped lens became a nagging issue.

And much like a man with his trusted dog, one day I realized I had to put my best friend out to pasture.

It was a heavy blow. To be honest, I haven’t been the same since…

And that’s why I’m writing you.

I read or heard somewhere that your sunglasses have a lifetime warranty.

If that’s the case, I would very much appreciate it if you could replace my oldest and most trusted friends (enclosed) with another pair of the same size and style.

If not please give them a proper burial appropriate for a warrior that has carried me through years of soccer games, cheerleading competitions, and travels across our fine country…

And rest assured that I will be purchasing another.


Erik Stafford