No Smoking

No Smoking.

So, I quit smoking about a month ago.

I didn’t do it on purpose.

Back in April I finally caved in and scheduled surgery to remove a rotten wisdom tooth that I had been ignoring for about a year.

It took 5 minutes.

No kidding… 5 minutes to extract a wisdom tooth I’ve been stressing about for nearly a year.

When the dental assistant dropped the tooth in my hand and I finally got a look at it, I was absolutely disgusted.

The entire top of it is cracked and missing like the rim of a volcano…

And the inside is malignant, black and rotten.

This is what’s been in my mouth for 8 months…

This rotten, disgusting, dirty thing.

Giving me headaches.

Making my mouth and neck hurt.

All because I was afraid of a needle.

Actually, that’s not true though, because fear feeds itself.

So I wasn’t JUST afraid of the needle.

I was afraid of it getting infected or having other complications. I was afraid of falling behind on my projects and clients.

Afraid of all the bigger shit that we both know is most likely never gonna happen.

So finally, I made the appointment on a Monday.

When she checked the calendar and said “How about tomorrow?” I thought “Man, that’s way too soon” and I almost backed out.

But I didn’t.

Tuesday came and after 45 minutes of agonizing waiting, the numbing shots took 3 minutes and the extraction took two.

5 minutes total.

After the procedure, the doctor informed me that smoking could lead to all sorts of terrible infections and calamities…

Things like staph infections, dry socket, legionnaires disease, and bursitis.

And he told me to hold off for 24-48 hours if I could.

Well, I did. And I never started up again, which is just crazy and exciting and incredible.

After almost twenty years, I’m not a smoker anymore.

So that’s great news, but I’ve gained 10 pounds in the past month.

I’m not thrilled about it. My hands are going crazy without being constantly occupied with a cigarette.

I’ve apparently replaced smoking with eating, and it sucks. I bought a ukulele and I’m learning to play…

But you can only play ukelele so much and then you need to find something else to do with your hands besides massage your balls and stuff whole chickens into your mouth.

Suggestions appreciated.