Guru Douchebag

Hey Dude promote my launch! (Nope)

Lately I’ve been getting more and more emails that look personal, until I open them and realize they are just mass-copied “promote my shit” bulk emails sent to every good affiliate on the planet, all at once.

Promotional emails, disguised as personal emails, with no way to unsubscribe.

And it pisses me right off.

Look, I get it… It’s easier for you to send one fucking email to every affiliate you know. And it’s better for you if I can’t unsubscribe from these emails, or complain without feeling stupid…

And yes, I have websites and email subscribers and social media subscribers…

And yes, I have been known in the past to promote things, and end up on affiliate leaderboards.

But one thing you’re forgetting: I’m an asshole.

And I don’t give one single fuck about offending you.

In fact, I drafted an email template (below) that will be going out to people who copy me on shit like this.

Feel free to swipe and share.


Hey Jackhole:

Please don’t CC me (along with 200 other affiliates) on “promote my launch” emails masked as personal communications. It’s a horrible thing to do and it makes my balls hurt.

The next time it happens, every single email address will be posted on my blog ( along with a note blaming you for the error.