Is fear stopping you from succeeding?

Hey Erik,

I am so sorry to hear about your son, I’m very happy to hear that he’s going to be okay. I actually think I knew he was going to be fine Wednesday. (I don’t know if you believe or know anything about Reiki, but I have a Reiki Master that has really helped me a lot. She is very powerful, it’s kind of scary at times that she knows when I need help and just sends it to me. All I know is the pain is gone. She also knows when people I know need help they come to her in a vision, she sees them in her mind & since they appear to her she sends them Reiki.) She called me Wednesday night and asked me if I knew a little boy about 5 or 6, blonde with short hair, with an older sister also blonde with long blonde hair.

The only person I could think of was you and your children. I remembered the Christmas Video you did and sent her the link so she could watch it. She did and immediately called me back telling me that was him. She asked me to let you know that he’s going to perfectly fine. (Smile)

But, she did mention that she was concerned about you and some problems you’re having. She’d like to help you, (No Charge) but she needs you to give her permission. (She could help your son because he came to her. Don’t ask me to explain how this works, I don’t know, I just know it does work. LOL) If you would like her to help you, once again at no charge, she will gladly do so. She does a lot of distance healing with a picture of the person, she can do it with just your permission, but for reasons I can’t explain, it’s easier with a picture. (I think with the picture, she can visualize exactly what area she needs to focus on.)

If you would like to give her permission, please let me know and if possible email me a picture of you, I can give to her. You never have to meet her, just give her permission and keep an open mind. Personally, regardless if you are a believer or not, I would allow her permission, it can’t hurt you, but it may really help. (If you’re a non-believe try to keep an open mind that this will help you.) All that is required of you is that you thank God for the help he has sent you.

I was a non-believer, but once I opened my mind and was willing to accept the help she wanted to give me, I started to notice a vast difference in my health. Things the doctors told me would happen didn’t, I’m now at the point I can feel her working on my picture.

I’ll give you am example, yesterday I had to go to a dental surgeon and have a wisdom tooth removed. (I never mentioned to her that I was having this done.) I was told that it would bleed for a few days & I’d have to replace the packing gauze every few hours, my face would swell (Was looking forward to that one, it would make me look bigger! LOL) bruise, etc.) When I got home my mouth was still frozen, so I change the gauze and had a little catnap. When I woke up (1/2 an hour later) I went to change the gauze again and there was no bleeding, not one spot of blood on the gauze and absolutely no pain. When I got up this morning, no swelling, no bruising, no pain!!! I looked in my mouth with one of those little dental mirrors you can get all I saw was the stitches, the hole has healed completely. I rubbed my tongue on the stitches and they fell out. (They were supposed to stay in for 5 days.) I was amazed that it had healed so quickly. (I’m not normally a fast healer.) I had to call her and tell her what happened and she told me I came to her in a vision in a dental chair. She immediately got my picture and started to work on my mouth. As they say “The Proof Is In The Pudding” I’m the pudding and I have proof that it does work. If it didn’t I’d be in severe pain, my mouth would be bleeding and I wouldn’t be able to eat anything but liquids. (Not the best position to be in when your trying to gain weight not lose it.) I had bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. (Oops, did I say bacon, as a good Jewish person, I don’t eat bacon. ROFL)

I just wanted to let you know about this, I’ll post what my fears are later!

Kary aka Cilantro

Hey Erik,

I can relate extremely well to the Fear Factor, I’ve experienced it with my own health issues and Tarragon, granted he is a cat, but he’s my baby. I was devastated when he almost died at Christmas, for 2 weeks I could do nothing, I was immobilized by fear. (Maybe it had a lot to do with my being a Vet previously; I knew how slim his chances of survival were.) But, it was something I had no control over, yet I was panic stricken to the point of not being able to think of anything but Tarragon. For 2 weeks I did nothing but cry, forced myself to eat, didn’t sleep, didn’t touch the computer, didn’t answer the phone unless it was my Vet. I expected the worse and there was no way I could convince myself I was over reacting. I knew logically I was, but I still couldn’t prevent it.

When I was diagnosed with MS, not a problem, until I lost my driver’s license, even then I wasn’t bothered that I had MS, I was upset that I couldn’t drive any longer. LOL

Then when I was diagnosed with an inoperatable brain tumour, my only concern was if it was controllable. It is, but I had no idea how it would affect me; I just put mind over matter and continued on my merry little way. (If I Didn’t Mind, Why Should It Matter? LOL) I kept a positive attitude, completed the 8 months left of the contract I was in, while undergoing radiation every night. The company I was troubleshooting for couldn’t believe I could still function normally. (I was spending 12 hours in the hospital with my head stuck in a bucket tossing my cookies, going home to shower, change and off to work.) They had the pleasure of watching all my hair fall out, drastic weight loss and me making jokes about it.

The reality of my situation hit when I couldn’t get another contract; no one was willing to take a chance on hiring me. (Frankly, I wouldn’t have hired me looking the way I did.) LOL I kept a positive attitude and started to look into other opportunities that were available, hence my getting involved with a work from home Internet business. The perfect solution to my problem I thought.

I started off taking an e-commerce course, that didn’t work out. Next I got involved with a Work From Home Program, that didn’t work out either. Then Joshua sent me an invitation to take part in your 12 Days Of Christmas. Now, that was exceedingly beneficial to me. (Smile)

Unfortunately, things we’re not going very well with my tumour, the radiation wasn’t shrinking it, it was affecting my vision and my emotions. I’m on an emotional rollercoaster ride of my life, one minute laughing – the next bawling my eyes out. I was beginning to think I was losing my sanity, how could I be happy one minute and suicidal the next? Once my doctors told me what the problem was, all I wanted was to finish my treatments and get my life back on track. (Easy to say, harder to do, when you don’t have control over it.) Of course, I believed I could control it, but that was just an illusion, one I wasn’t ready to give up on yet. (I have an amazing ability to block what I can’t deal with, so I opened the little door in my mind where I stash what I don’t want or am unable to handle.) Guess I filled up my little room and there wasn’t enough space left. The next thing I knew the door came tumbling down and everything I’d ever blocked came out. Wasn’t prepared for that one, instead of having one thing to deal with, I was hit by an avalanche. When I did manage to get any sleep, I’d wake up having heart palpitations. I was having one panic attack after another over something I had limited or no control of. I’d go for days not able to do anything and then I’d be back to normal. (I should say, as normal as I’ve ever been. LOL)

After being on radiation and chemotherapy for 16 months, the tumour went into remission, finally. Regrettably, that wasn’t the end of my health issues; I had a new one to takes its place. (Always nice to have a spare on hand, you never know when you’re going to need it. LOL) My weight dropped to 72 pounds, that sounds a lot worse then it actually is, I’ve weighed 97 pounds and been 5’8” since I was 12.

The problem was no matter how many calories I was taking in (9,000 a day) I wasn’t gaining weight. I started having a number of problems, fainting, loss of balance, constant joint pain, vision problems and I was exceptionally weak. (I couldn’t walk from one room to the other without taking a break.)

I knew I looked bad, but I didn’t think I looked that bad, until I went out to pick up some groceries. (The store is half a block from where I live!) I no sooner got outside and I was ready to pass out. I leaned against a wall and slowly slid down, once I was down, I put my head between my legs waiting for the dizziness to stop. Since I had a fresh fruit salad in my shopping bag, I was stuffing pieces of fruit in my mouth, hoping it would give me the energy to get home. That’s when I encountered the most embarrassing moment in my life. A woman stopped and asked me if she could buy me some groceries. I had two bags of groceries at my feet, one I was eating from, why would someone want to buy me groceries when I already had two bags full? That’s when it kicked in, she didn’t know my bags had groceries in them, she thought I was homeless. I was mortified that someone would mistake me for a homeless person; all I wanted to do was go home, hide and not come out until I looked human again. LOL

It was really a blessing in disguise; I had to face the fact that there was no way I was going to gain the weight I needed without help. Now, I spend 12 hours in the hospital every day or night connected to a Dialysis Machine, to remove all the toxins from my system that the radiation and chemotherapy put in. I’ve managed to gain 3 pounds, but still have another 22 to go. (Only took me 3 weeks to gain 3 pounds. LOL) I know this is something I have no control over, which depresses me more than the time it’s taking me to gain weight. (I admit, I’m a control freak and don’t deal well in situations I can’t control, but nevertheless I still try. *I like banging my head against a brick wall* LOL) This was only hindering my progress, but no matter how hard I tried, my mind refuses to accept that I can’t, which only makes things harder for me. Right now, I have a few good days, but mostly I’m incapable of doing anything, except think. I recognize that I’m my own worst enemy, but I can’t seem to do anything to change that. Knowing and doing just doesn’t seem to compute in my mind. In between panic attacks, I do what I can and pray everything will work out in the end.

The only problem with that, I don’t see any end in sight and I’m terrified that before I do, the tumour is going to grow back and I’m at square one again or I’ll be dead. Yeah, I’m living my life in a constant state of fear right now, but I’m a fighter and while I’ll never have the life I used to live back, I am determined to have a life. It may take awhile, but I know in the long run, everything is going to work out – the Power of Positive Thinking is a wonderful blessing to have. If I wasn’t a Positive Thinker, I would have given up a long time ago. It’s helped me in so many different areas of my life, my life hasn’t always been easy, I’ve had a lot of problems to deal with that I had no control over, beginning when I was 12. But, by keeping a positive attitude, it’s allowed me to deal with the different trauma’s I’ve experienced and made it easier on my friends.

Some of the things I’ve been though, at a very young age, have been difficult on my friends (Example: Widowed at 16, 23 & 36 not by natural causes, was very difficult for my friends to handle, they never knew what to do or say to me.) Showing them that I could laugh and make jokes about it, they no longer walked on eggshells when I was around and I was treated the same way they treated others. (Smile)

Humor has alway been my way of handling things, no matter how bad it was and I’ve been though some really bad times, that was just a small example, humor and positive thinking have been extremely beneficial to me. (I discovered, if you can laugh at your situation, others will laugh with you. If you want people’s pity and are constantly “Oh Poor Me, I’ve had this happen and this happen and so on” people don’t want to be around you, your depressing them. Everyone has their own problems and frankly it gets to you, when all you get out of the friendship is sob stories.) The people in my life that all I get out of them is sob stories, I’m cut out. I have enough sob stories of my own I don’t need to listen to theirs if their not going to make any attempt to change. (When or if they can start to view the glass as half full instead of half empty, I’m more than willing to give them a second chance. But, I refuse to put myself in a position that may change my postive outlook.)

Things are rough right now, but I know their going to get better, I will gain control of my life back, it’s just going to take a little time and 22 pounds. LOL In fact now, I believe I’m going to have a better life than I did before!!! (Anyone reading this, if you’re into stock market investments, put your money into Scotties Tissues – their business is thriving thanks to me. LOL)

Kary aka Cilantro