I just spent an infuriating two hours on the phone trying to spend money with Nuance, and couldn’t do it.

I charge $500/hour for my consulting time, and so after two hours on hold, being transferred, and explaining my situation to multiple foreign-based (I assume) and heavily accented support and sales people, eventually I hung up and decided to spend another half hour writing this post, in the hopes that it will cost Nuance at least $1500 in lost sales down the road.

A couple months back when my laptop died, I lost a bunch of software. Once of the things I lost was a program called Mac Speech Dictate, which is basically a MAC version of Dragon Naturally Speak.

So I called them today, in hopes of getting another download, or another disk sent in the mail.

I was told I needed to upgrade to the newest version for $100 bucks, which is fine…

Then I was transferred to someone who was going to process my order, but they wouldn’t do it without a promo code.

The original support people didn’t have one. The new people wouldn’t sell me the discounted upgrade without one.

I even tried calling their corporate offices, where the friendly receptionist was nice enough to transfer me to three different voice-mail boxes where I was encouraged to tell the same story again and again.

We went back and forth for several hours until finally I hung up, punched my wife, and started writing this.

Keep in mind, I’ve recommended this product for YEARS.

To my subscribers, my product owners, my coaching students.

Well, not anymore.

Good job, Nuance.

Erik

You ever try to “SEO” a website?

Get it to the top of the search engines?

It’s painful.

You might as well beat your face against your desk.

First of all, everyone has a different tip, trick or method that guarantees results…

And no matter who you decide to believe, it’s always time consuming and frustrating to handle on your own…

Hire an SEO company, and you can easily flush thousands of bucks down the toilet!

Well, I just released a killer little training product with my friends Ross and Brian.

Revolutionary, in fact.

You really should check it out:
http://www.erik-recommends.com/micro

This easy system will show you exactly how to “micro outsource” your SEO for less than $100 bucks a month.

Seriously.

And right now, you can get the training (and lifetime access to the software) for less than the cost of a decent lunch.

But the price is going up every minute, so get over there fast:
http://www.erik-recommends.com/micro

Erik

If you’re running a successful Internet business (or working on building one) then you’ve probably heard of the guys from Digital Marketer.

I know these guys. I’ve known them for years. We’ve worked together on projects, and I have to say:

NO ONE produces better, more effective training. The team at Digital Marketer consists of people working in every single area of marketing you can imagine… From outsourcing to paid media, local consulting, traffic generation, ecommerce stores, you name it.

A couple of the guys even have random websites that sell physical products, imported from overseas.

I mean it when I say it – They’ve done and seen it all.

Here’s the first report they’ve released in what will hopefully become a series of affordable little reports:

Digital Marketer – YouTube Google Hack:
Did you know that Google is now ranking YouTube videos above established, 10 year old websites? It’s true. All it takes is a few simple hacks, and you can CRUSH your competition.

This $7 Report teaches you exactly how to do it:
Digital Marketer Report

Check it out.

Erik

You’ve heard of sign spinning, right?

Maybe you’ve heard it called sign walking, or sign twirling, or sign waving…

This is when a local business hires someone to stand on a corner, hold a sign, and spaz out in an attempt to get people to stop in.

Small Business Owners: If you’re doing this, I have no fucking idea what your thinking.

Maybe it’s because you see other businesses doing it?

If so you have Yellow Pages Syndrome and you need to stop.

The Yellow Pages don’t work, yet tons of businesses continue to sink thousands of bucks into advertising with them.

Yellow Pages Syndrome.

So is that what you’re thinking?

Unless you’re a company like Little Caesars with a quick, easy to access offer (Stop in for a $5 pizza, hot and ready to take home) avoid this sort of advertising like the plague.

Think about it.

Do you really want a burned out carny or ex-con repping your business?

Or a pierced up goth kid, looking for weed money?

Wouldn’t you be better off setting up a free Facebook page, and getting people talking about your business?

Or a free Google places page, so your listing comes up on a google map on every smartphone in the world?

Yes.

And consultants, or anyone with half a brain for Internet stuff:

If you see a douchebag standing on the street, holding a sign…

Stop in immediately and talk to the owner. Offer to help them for a couple hundred bucks a month.

They need you.

January 15th, 2012

Erik Stafford
www.staffordmarketing.com

Lately I’ve been getting more and more emails that look personal, until I open them and realize they are just mass-copied “promote my shit” bulk emails sent to every good affiliate on the planet, all at once.

Promotional emails, disguised as personal emails, with no way to unsubscribe.

And it pisses me right off.

Look, I get it… It’s easier for you to send one fucking email to every affiliate you know. And it’s better for you if I can’t unsubscribe from these emails, or complain without feeling stupid…

And yes, I have websites and email subscribers and social media subscribers…

And yes, I have been known in the past to promote things, and end up on affiliate leader boards.

But one thing you’re forgetting: I’m an asshole.

And I don’t give one single fuck about offending you.

In fact, I drafted an email template (below) that will be going out to people who copy me on shit like this.

Feel free to swipe and share.

———————–

Hey Jackhole:

Erik

Ahhh the joys of outsourcing.

Keep reading for an actual email exchange I had today with a programmer in India… Posted word for word, for your enjoyment.

Erik

————

From: Karthik
To: Erik Stafford
Time: 8:23am

Kumar.V

There’s a reason I’ve been posting this link:

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

That page hit me like a ton of bricks.

Have you ever read something and felt like it was written SPECIFICALLY to you?

That’s how I felt when I read it.

Outsourcing has changed my business…

But maybe you’re feeling like you aren’t quite ready for that sort of a commitment.

The extra expense.

The extra time spent hiring, managing, providing instructions….

Maybe you can’t even think of anything you would give to an outsourcer and have them work on for you.

Well, I was in the same spot…

So I started small. Remember that whole “micro-outsourcing” thing I told you about yesterday?

Here’s how it works:

1. Start by picking a basic task. Something simple, like getting more visitors to your website. Or maybe you want to add a couple thousand people to your Facebook page. Or get a simple business card designed.

It doesn’t matter what the task is – As long as it’s simple.

No software, no website services… nothing big or time consuming.

Check Fiverr and pick something simple.

2. Follow the instructions, pay the five bucks, and then get your employee over some basic instructions, passwords, or whatever else they may need.

3. Here’s the important step: If they do a good job, ask them if they are willing to communicate via email. Exchange information, save them as a contact… And BAM! You now have someone you can call on for that task, whenever you need to do it!

This mini-method to getting things done has worked like a charm for me, and when combined with David Walsh’s “Source Control” it’s absolutely life changing.

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

This product covers outsourcing from A to Z, and comes complete with forms, process maps, instructional breakdowns… the whole nine yards.

When you grab your copy, simply email me your receipt (erik [AT] staffordmarketing.com) and I’ll send you the following bonus:

“Micro-Outsourcing” your way to $500 bucks a month!”

In this short, detailed report I will show you how to scale up several individual “micro-outsourcing” tasks and fuse them together into a proper, sustainable business.

Sound good?

Together, it’s everything you need to get started.

Erik

P.S. – The kicker for me? The author, David Walsh, has publicly posted his email address at the bottom of his pages. He isn’t hiding behind walls.

He believes in this product… And I do too.

Check it out:

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

P.P.S. – This product even explains how to outsource your 9-to-5 job! Outsourcing from within your job can actually be the best way to start and experiment…

So get started today!

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

Grab your copy, email me the receipt, and claim your bonus…

All for under $50 bucks!

Erik

We’re talking about outsourcing.

And man, do I have some crazy stories to tell:

March 2009 – I spend about 2,000 hours training a new assistant, and he repays me by immediately vanishing like a fart in the wind.

———————-

June 2009 – I fire 5 full-time outsourcers in a fit of rage, and close down a successful website that has 50 people paying $297 per month for traffic services.

———————-

$10,500 a month (after expenses) down the tubes…

I ended up doing the final month’s work myself, and then canceling all the customers because I simply couldn’t manage the staggered deadlines.

I suck at project management.

———————-

August 2010 – Another one bites the dust. I found out that the India-based company I was using was routinely over-billing me. I’m terrible at math, even worse at accounting… And only caught it because one of my friends mentioned that he had been suckered by the same company.

———————-

January 2011 – A programmer flat out disappears with $1500 bucks and the source code for one of my scripts. I still haven’t heard a word from him, which is good… Because if I find him I’m going to beat him to death with a computer keyboard.

The list goes on and on…

The endless stream of programmers, assistants, and designers that I’ve fired, hired, pulled the plug on…

The bottom line is that outsourcing can be a GIANT pain in the ass.

It doesn’t HAVE to be though.

No matter what business you’re in, or what your goals are, outsourcing can work for you.

But first, you have to clearly understand what sort of person you are.

You need to outsource to your STRENGTHS.

This simple-sounding little bit of wisdom helped me finally crack the code and turn outsourcing into something easy and profitable.

Once I embraced the fact that I HATE managing people, and SUCK at accounting, and DESPISE project management…

It became apparent that for me to be successful with outsourcing, I was going to have to do it my way.

In small, bite-sized chunks.

I call it “micro-outsourcing” and it works like crazy.

I’ll be giving you some examples that you can use in your own business tomorrow…

But first, read this:

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

Source Control by David Walsh is hands down the best outsourcing course I’ve ever read. The book is over 150 pages long and I read it from front to back in one sitting.

Then I read it again.

I give it my highest endorsement and have prepared an extremely valuable bonus for those of you who take action and invest in a copy…

More on that in my next post.

Erik

I know it’s the weekend, but since it’s LABOR day weekend here…

I thought I would reach out with some thoughts on how you can do LESS labor and make MORE money at the same time.

I’ve been talking a lot in the past couple of months about the new directions my business has taken.

==> I’m building software.

==> Working with local clients and providing services to them… like SEO, web design, and basic social media stuff…

==> I’m developing mobile applications…

==> Porting my existing eBooks to the Kindle and iTunes platforms.

All of these projects revolve around on one basic concept:

OUTSOURCING.

I’ve probably told you how easy it is to outsource almost everything…

But that’s not quite true, now that I look back on the past year.

Sure, it’s easy for me NOW…

But in the beginning, it was a whole different story.

I’m going to be talking about this more in the next couple days: Sharing my experiences, and revealing some outsourcing tips…

Along with a couple links and recommendations to stuff that’s saved me tons of time and headaches.

But for now, read this:

http://www.erik-recommends.com/outsourcing

I don’t care how experienced you are, or what you’re working on… You need to be outsourcing.

I’ll be back tomorrow to explain.

Erik